1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,790 'Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,628 'but it's been a good home to us - me, Frank Gallagher, 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,717 'and me kids who l'm proud of, 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,673 'cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,030 'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for.' 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,389 - Run! Run for it! - Leg it! 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,238 'Fiona, who's a massive help, 8 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:29,274 'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Philip now, 9 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,992 'Ian, a lot like his mam, 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,998 'which is handy for the others cos she's disappeared into thin air, 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,474 'and Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,069 'cos it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah and nits love it. 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,749 'Debbie - sent by God. Total angel. 14 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,918 'You've to check your change but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 15 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:54,115 'Plus Liam - gonna be a star once we've got the fits under control. 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:59,917 'Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier... One plate short of a full set, like. 17 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,795 'Fantastic neighbours Kev and Veronica. Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 18 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,674 'But all of them to a man know, first and foremost, 19 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,678 'one of the most vital necessities in this life 20 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,633 'is they know how to throw a party! 21 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,159 'Scatter!' 22 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,034 (Ian) 'When you're a Gallagher it can feel like more shit happens 23 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,877 'than the average. 24 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,196 'But if you think about it, shit happening is fact of life. 25 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,232 'There's nothing special about being part of our family. 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,431 'What really is special about being a Gallagher? 27 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,550 'You'd have to ask Fiona.' 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:39,037 'A bit of pride, maybe, and how you cope when it all hits the fan... 29 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,993 'especially if you're standing right in front of it at the time. 30 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,634 'The thing l rate about Fiona is that she didn't even duck.' 31 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,875 l wouldn't kick him out of bed for a wet fart. 32 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,069 He's not my type. 33 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,588 He's everyone's type! He's a fucking classic! 34 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,677 l think l'm all right, thanks. 35 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,199 Fancy a drink? 36 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,913 Yes, mate? 37 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,599 Two Manila coladas, please. 38 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,553 We've run out of Manila, l can do them with rum. 39 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,512 You're all right, mate. l'll have them without. 40 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,870 - Two Manila coladas without the Manila? - Yeah. 41 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,990 Fucking ladies night and not a chick in the room. 42 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,513 Er, name? 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,039 Ryan. 44 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,275 He's a footballer. 45 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,311 Fuck off! 46 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,272 Fucking hell! He's not Ryan Giggs, is he? 47 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,232 Veronica, you have seen him. 48 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,635 Oh, yeah. 49 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,513 Only Sunday League. 50 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,755 Still, fit as arseholes. 51 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,233 (Woman) Got a spare tampon? 52 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,238 Hang on. 53 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,231 (Woman) l feel sick. 54 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,273 Let's go, while they're still serving. 55 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,551 PHONE RlNGS 56 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,679 Hello. 57 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,838 How the fuck did that happen? 58 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,152 How the fuck did Fiona end up with Joey Dawson? 59 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,679 Joey Dawson?! 60 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,756 Joey. 61 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,559 Oh...Joey. 62 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,669 Oh, fuck! 63 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,709 What was he like? 64 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,109 Phwoar! 65 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,718 Oh, fuck! 66 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,432 Didn't think he would be. 67 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,152 l don't think we used anything. 68 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,031 l thought you were on the pill? 69 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,229 When l was with Steve, yeah. 70 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,669 Half a packet now, half a packet later. 71 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,234 Works the same as the morning-after pill. 72 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,271 (Liam) Wake up! 73 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,390 Liam! 74 00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,668 Morning. 75 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,159 (TV) 'lt's your chance to phone in this morning and the topic 76 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,236 'is sexually transmitted diseases. 77 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,590 'So, we've got...' 78 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,552 Joey Dawson?! 79 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,309 Don't bother. l can guarantee it won't be funny. 80 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,671 You went to bed with our Fiona? 81 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,199 Get me... 82 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,591 Fuck. 83 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,073 You went to bed with him?! 84 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,315 lt happens, Carl. 85 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,157 Do you want some toast? 86 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,350 Two slices, my darling. What's happened? 87 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,393 Fiona had sexual intercourse with Joey Dawson. 88 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,395 Debbie! 89 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,874 That's what Mrs Henderson calls it in Health And Society. 90 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,469 She says it's immature to use the other words. 91 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,795 Looks like he shagged you ragged. 92 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,593 Change the fucking record! 93 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,232 < Argh! 94 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,874 Shit. Marty! 95 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,792 He shut me arm in the fuckin' door! 96 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,353 Cold compress. 97 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,231 That's what Veronica always says. 98 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,670 Get a flannel. l don't know what you're playing at, Marty. 99 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,831 Liam! 100 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,676 (lan) Go, go! 101 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,756 - What? - The gears. l can't... 102 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,030 Hurry up! For God's sake! 103 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,998 Blood group? 104 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:39,674 AB, AB, A, AB positive, O, B positive. l don't know yours. 105 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,429 Give it a few minutes. Then you can go home with mummy and daddy. 106 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,708 No, we're not... 107 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,955 No more taking mummy's tablets! 108 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,878 We got everything out of him in time and hormones 109 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,478 aren't immediately dangerous. 110 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,593 Worse case scenario would be him growing a pair of tits. 111 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,359 HE CHUCKLES 112 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,277 For God's sake! 113 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,596 lf you that worried about it, get an X-ray. 114 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,519 (Debbie) Ask me. l remember every Christmas prezzie for the last eight years. 115 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,028 l'm really sorry, Joey. 116 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,229 1 998. 117 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,510 (Debbie) Christmas 1 998 - 118 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,519 He-Man mega-fighter, Kylie CDs, 119 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,039 selection box from dad. 120 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,390 Skateboard, Louise CD, selection box from dad. 121 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,237 Tinky Winky, 122 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,838 video, 123 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,997 selection box from dad. 124 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,112 Right. l'll see you then. 125 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,957 l didn't know you lived round here? 126 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,638 Extension on Lyle Close. > 127 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,193 Finishing off, like. 128 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,074 Told you l could do the Christmas presents. 129 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,350 Yeah, but you got the blood groups wrong, freak. 130 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,231 No, l didn't. 131 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,793 How much? 132 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,073 At least it's not his plastering arm. 133 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,395 AB, A, 134 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,274 AB, B, O. 135 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,039 l prefer the new notes from the cash machine. 136 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,516 Debbie, look. Somebody's cocked up. 137 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,551 They do this in biology. 138 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,955 You need two Os. 139 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,468 One from each parent to be just O. 140 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:22,116 O's recessive. Somebody's got lan's blood group wrong 141 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,549 which means you're wrong, which means l'm not liable for ten quid. 142 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,955 Doesn't have to mean that. 143 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,672 Yes it does. 144 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,838 lt could mean that dad's not lan's dad. Durrr! 145 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,871 What? 146 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,195 KNOCK ON DOOR 147 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,232 Can someone get that? 148 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,158 Here, love, give it to me. 149 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,633 Have you got any aspirin at yours? 150 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,114 l've got a head like a fucking drill. 151 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,309 This not a good time? 152 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,271 She wants to talk to mum. 153 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,799 l'm from the health visiting team. 154 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,833 The hospital contacted us about Liam's overdose. 155 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,474 lt wasn't an overdose. 156 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,750 Their word, not mine. lt's just a follow-up. 157 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,588 Your mum not in? Or your dad. We try not to be sexist! 158 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,039 Not at the minute, no. 159 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,470 l am Liam's sister, so l can answer any questions. 160 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,192 Gallagher. 161 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,276 Thought it might be. 162 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,039 You don't remember me, do you? 163 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,753 Katrina Webb, from school? 164 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,992 Katrina. 165 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,110 lt's all right, you can say it - the sperm whale. 166 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,355 You have lost a fucking tonne! 167 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,279 Quick Slim. A shake for breakfast, a soup for lunch 168 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,639 and then a sensible tea. 169 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,831 For three-and-a-half years. 170 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,199 Fiona Gallagher. 171 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,358 Bet you never thought the sperm whale be a health professional, eh? 172 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,391 OK if l have a look at your brother? 173 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,834 Just my fucking luck, them sending her. 174 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,075 She's all right, in't she, sperm whale? 175 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,754 Veronica, l gave her that name. 176 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,191 She hated my guts at school because l snogged a boy she fancied. 177 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,595 Ricky Parr. 178 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,518 A little bit of power, she'll be loving this. 179 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,232 Right as rain. 180 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,555 l'm surprised you're still living at home, Fiona. 181 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,318 Thought you would've been married by now. 182 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,713 Well, you and me both. 183 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,751 What about you? 184 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,270 Engaged. Lovely. 185 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,197 Got a venue booked for August. 186 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,798 We're having a Lord Of The Rings theme, 187 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,432 'cept it'll be wedding rings, obviously. 188 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,118 Hobbits for pageboys, dead cute. 189 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,596 Hang about, l'm remembering now. 190 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,756 l did a visit when Chantelle Harrison 191 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,075 had her third and she said to me that 192 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,398 your mum had turned into a lesbian and run off with another woman. 193 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,078 Chantelle? 194 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,680 Must have been the smack talking. 195 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,871 You take care, Liam. 196 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,070 Carl kicked me. 197 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,712 Did he? 198 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,193 lt was an accident. 199 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,037 Nightmare. Kids, eh? 200 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,877 Yeah! 201 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,512 lt was good to see you, Katrina. 202 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,630 Good luck with the wedding. 203 00:09:58,680 --> 00:09:59,954 Who's the lucky fella? 204 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,878 Joey, Joey Dawson. 205 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:07,118 Mrs Dawson. Fucking weird, eh? See ya! 206 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,435 l'm not kidding. She finds out l slept with Joey, l'm dead! 207 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,674 Promise me these are staying on. 208 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:14,675 What are you like? 209 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,835 No tits! Promise me! 210 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,314 Cross me heart and hope to die. 211 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,271 DOORBELL 212 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,912 SHE WHlSTLES 213 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,075 Whoa! 214 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,477 Get 40 quid extra for topless. What rhymes with estate agent? 215 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,669 You what? 216 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,915 Birthday boy's an estate agent. Sean. 217 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,271 You're mental, you! How's she gonna find out? 218 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,392 Joey's not gonna tell her, you're not gonna tell her. 219 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,078 lt's like it never fucking happened. 220 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,759 lt's Joey and his girlfriend. 221 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,552 Shit! 222 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,875 He's come for the van keys. 223 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,798 That he left here last night when he crashed out 224 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,353 cos he'd had too many 225 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,391 before he slipped in the shower and broke his arm. 226 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,635 She wants to know why we haven't got one of them mats? 227 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,433 We have! 228 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,948 Keys! 229 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,591 Liam had them. 230 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,791 They're in our house somewhere. Kitchen table. 231 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,559 Keep her talking, yeah? 232 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,670 Keys! Keys! Where could they be? 233 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,598 Veronica's had a tidy-up. 234 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,870 lt's always the way, innit? 235 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,629 l told shit-for-brains he were lucky you drove him to the hospital. 236 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,877 He's worse than a bloody kid. Can't let him out my sight, can l? 237 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,753 Can l?! You're lucky he's not suing you for loss of business. 238 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,358 lt's not his plastering arm, is it? 239 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,193 ls it me, or has it turned a bit? 240 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,710 Veronica says you used to be really, really fat. 241 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,079 Ta-da! 242 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,831 (Katrina) Kylie had to get two buses 243 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,236 to self-defence cos you couldn't drive her. 244 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,794 She had a do on the number 1 2. Forgot her inhaler. 245 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,354 She could be dead, Joey! You didn't think of that. 246 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,630 Oh, thanks, Kev! Saved my life. 247 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,592 See! l told you! Over-reaction! 248 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,592 What?! 249 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,358 You're not my dad. 250 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,671 What the fuck have l done now? 251 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,156 Type O blood, l've got, so you can't be my real dad. 252 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,158 lt's scientifically impossible. 253 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,110 Of course l'm your fucking dad. 254 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,869 Frank Gallagher does not fire blanks, lan. 255 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,956 l can remember it clear as day. 256 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,118 1 987, cos they'd just stopped me claiming for my illness. 257 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,310 Doctor said it was a fucking shaving rash. 258 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,396 How do they sleep at night? 259 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,874 Coming to terms with living with a disability, 260 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:18,552 then bang, ''l'm late again, Frank.'' Whatever you say about Monica, 261 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,670 she didn't look at another fella. 262 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,430 Not until she went off with, Norma. No need. 263 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,789 lt were 1 989. 264 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,432 That's what l mean. 265 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,755 1 9... 266 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,870 ..80... 267 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,749 Gary Bennett. 268 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,998 Fucker. 269 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,558 She had a Saturday job in an offie. 270 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,192 He were too fucking tight to give her a discount, so no point... 271 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,435 She made out it gave her a bit of independence. 272 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,152 He was the manager. 273 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,953 ''Gary listens to me, Frank.'' 274 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,798 We can all listen when we want to give them one, can't we? 275 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:17,989 So it's true? 276 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,758 Falls into place, don't it? 277 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,678 Betrayal. 278 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,075 All the way down the fucking line. 279 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,837 How sharper than a serpent's tooth. 280 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,350 No, listen, right. 281 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,756 Whatever that tosspot did to your mum, 282 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,633 you are still my son. 283 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,592 You're all my kids. 284 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,515 Even a gobshite like Lip. 285 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,349 Yes! 286 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,511 Here, remembered. 287 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,516 l need a sombrero and a guitar. 288 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:09,629 For netball? 289 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,750 We're making a short film in media studies. 290 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,155 l'm a Mexican street musician. 291 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,272 Liam, shoes on, sweetheart. l need to get hold of mum. 292 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,151 l just tried. 293 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,509 Answer machine says they're away till the 22nd. 294 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,549 Shit. 295 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,589 (lan) What's up? 296 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,632 Social services want to visit. 297 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,434 See if Liam's being looked after properly by mum or dad. 298 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,471 (lan) Shit! 299 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,395 - Why were you calling mum, anyway? - He's trying to find his real dad. 300 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,112 What? 301 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,038 Frank's not his dad. Gary Bennett is. 302 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,389 Gary Bennett? 303 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,556 How long have you known about this? 304 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,277 There. lt's my best shot. 305 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,357 lan. 306 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,311 You're full of surprises. 307 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,315 Look, l just find out. 308 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,272 Dad reckons it were the manager of this offie 309 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,992 where mum had a Saturday job. 310 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,235 Offie in Eccles. Yeah, l remember. 311 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,759 l were gonna tell you. Honest. 312 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,233 Do you want to find him? 313 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,679 Yeah. 314 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,948 Why? 315 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,479 We're your family. 316 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,910 ls it about the other thing? 317 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,154 No. 318 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,674 DOORBELL 319 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,234 Hiya. 320 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,555 Just come off a visit up the road. 321 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,717 Post-natal depression. Social services been in touch yet? 322 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,319 We got a letter from them this morning. l mean mum did. 323 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,874 l bet she's shitting herself, isn't she? 324 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,673 Just kidding. As long as she turns up sober 325 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,792 and remembers your brother's name, we'll tick all the boxes. 326 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,718 l tell you what, you around at dinner time for a drink? 327 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,273 l've got a lot on today, as it happens. 328 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,958 l could give you a few interview tips. 329 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,718 lt helps to know who you're dealing with. 330 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,637 Friends in high places. 331 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,318 l'll be there, you know. 332 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,477 And we still haven't caught up properly, have we? 333 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,275 No. Yeah. Go on then. Why not? 334 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,958 Great, look forward to it. 335 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,958 Jockey's your local, in't it? 336 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,513 (Fiona) Can't you just tell her the truth? 337 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,996 ''l told a white lie and now it's got out of hand.'' 338 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,031 Yeah, she'll understand(!) 339 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,992 l may as well tell l shagged Joey while l'm at it! 340 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,315 Can't you wait until Monica's back from holiday? 341 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,874 And say Dad's looking after the kids while she's away? 342 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,230 The last thing we want is social services talking to fucking Frank. 343 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,350 Oh, yeah, right? MUMBLlNG 344 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,517 As far as they authorities are concerned, Dad's dead. 345 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,279 l'm not even Liam's legal guardian. 346 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,630 What are you playing at?! 347 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,114 You've been on their nearly half-an-hour. 348 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,549 She's got a gift, Veronica. 349 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,556 She's helping me with my arthritis. 350 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,275 You haven't got fucking arthritis. 351 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,596 l wish she'd keep an open mind. 352 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,872 She even knew about Kev losing the remote for the telly. 353 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,390 Bollocks she did. She's messing with your head, Mum. 354 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,000 Fiona, will you get a grip? 355 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,793 So, you're not officially Liam's guardian. 356 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,310 You're over 21 , you're a better fucking mum than Monica ever was. 357 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,794 Go down the Jockey, see Katrina and sort it out. 358 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,237 You're right. 359 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,872 You're right. 360 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,275 What's the worst that can happen? 361 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,788 l love you, Fiona. 362 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,558 Fuck's sake, Joey. 363 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,717 l mean... l mean... 364 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,079 You don't. You can't. 365 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,394 l do. 366 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,998 You're engaged. 367 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,519 You don't even know me. 368 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,676 And we were both totally mashed. 369 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,315 You were. l was on pineapple juice all night. 370 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,430 Oh, shit, Joey. Please. 371 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,674 Please. 372 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:44,948 l love you. 373 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,152 Oh, listen to him. l love you too, honey bunny. 374 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,589 So, what do you think, hey? 375 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,108 Mr and Mrs Dawson. 376 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,230 Can't believe you're still single, Fiona. Can you, Joey? 377 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,269 No. 378 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,598 What's this deep dark secret you wanted to tell me, hey? 379 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,437 lt's not about Ricky Parr, is it? 380 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,869 No, nothing like that. 381 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,639 lt's... lt's silly really. 382 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,831 l didn't realise it was you at first when you came to the house 383 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,950 to see our Liam. 384 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,594 lt's more automatic than anything. 385 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,438 Hey, secret admirer over there. 386 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,913 Hello. 387 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,554 You know him? 388 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,353 Well, to talk to. 389 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,119 l were just saying, she could do with a fella. 390 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,073 Could you? Cos last time l saw, you weren't going short, like. 391 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,792 Dirty mare! 392 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,308 We trying to fix her up, if you're interested. 393 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,919 Sorry, mate, l didn't realise. l was just having a laugh. 394 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,679 What...? No, he's with me, you daft pillock. 395 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,157 Oh, l just thought, cos youse two were getting... 396 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,509 Oh...right. 397 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,314 lt weren't me. 398 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,952 ALL SCREAM 399 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,795 Just listen. l swear, it was a mistake. 400 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,308 l was hammered. l don't even fancy him. 401 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,476 Oh, no, cos the sperm whale's boyfriend 402 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,432 wouldn't be good enough for Fiona fucking Gallagher. 403 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:35,474 Fiona fucking Gallagher can just take whatever she likes. 404 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,432 Little fucking Princess skinny arse. 405 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,878 Katrina...all that stuff... 406 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,275 We were kids, for God's sake. 407 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,072 Think that's an excuse? 408 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,712 Think l've fucking forgotten? 409 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,830 Sperm whale. 410 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,599 OK. l'm sorry. 411 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,269 But Chatsworth Comp - it was the law of the jungle down there. 412 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,437 Think you were the only one who went through it? 413 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,118 Yeah, you were fat, 414 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,958 and the lads used you as a spunk bucket 415 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,991 and they weren't very nice to you. 416 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,553 But you know what, 417 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,591 neither were you. 418 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,108 Pov Gallagher, remember that? 419 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,596 ''That same skirt you've been wearing sense year seven, Pov?'' 420 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,393 ''Can't afford to come on the school trip, Pov?'' 421 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,193 ''Check your change, Pov's here.'' 422 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,710 Plenty of times l cried myself to sleep, 423 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:34,390 so don't you make out you were Princess fucking Di, Katrina. 424 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,999 Right. A bit of advice. 425 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,918 Stay away from my fiancee... 426 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,798 ..and tell your family 427 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,718 they'd better put their best foot forward at that interview 428 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,275 or l'll have your shitarse of a brother taken into care so quick 429 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,675 he won't know what hit him. 430 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,312 OK?! 431 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:58,271 Pov! 432 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,116 You can start saying your prayers and all, you little twat. 433 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,957 Aaaaah! 434 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:19,874 Nipples. 435 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,676 lt must help to have big ones when they're feeding. 436 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,750 Must be... 437 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,360 lt must toughen them up, 438 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,709 all that... (SUCKS) 439 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,512 Can l help you? 440 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,519 Yeah, l've come for the vouchers for formula. 441 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,198 The name's Gallagher. 442 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,151 Nigel and Delia. 443 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:58,355 Sorry, we've got Gallagher Philip, Gallagher lan, Gallagher Deborah. 444 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,678 Oh, they'll be under their mum's address, Eldon Way. 445 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,555 Fuck off! 446 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,875 l swap you that for that? 447 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,956 The difference comes out my wages. 448 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,232 But they're unopened. l've got an arrangement. Ask Yvonne. 449 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,955 You'd better talk to her. She'll be in at tea time. 450 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,833 Oh, blood will out. 451 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,108 Gary Bennett. 452 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,712 You wouldn't give your mum a fucking discount at the offi. 453 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,398 Mingy little twat. 454 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,192 l'll mention that when l see him. 455 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,879 lt was Eccles. Fiona told me. 456 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,992 So there's nothing to stop me finding him. 457 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,032 Fuck off to Eccles then! 458 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,038 Are you serious? 459 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,354 Are you gonna go? 460 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,628 Yeah. 461 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,357 There's two in the phonebook. 462 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,879 Debbie looked it up. 463 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,478 Go for it. 464 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,273 All that counts in the end, family. 465 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,548 Cheers. 466 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,034 You know what l meant. 467 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,834 People don't realise. Leave it to dry, and it's good as new. 468 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,871 l haven't bought a new roll for three years. 469 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,556 l'm not a lesbian, Fiona. 470 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,591 l think everyone's got tendencies, but... 471 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,076 You don't need to be, cos you'll be pretending. 472 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,032 Playing a part, acting. 473 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:19,909 Acting? 474 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,758 You'll be you, but you'll say that 475 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:28,955 you're our mum, cos we think of you like our mum anyway, don't we? 476 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,752 lt sets you thinking though, don't it? 477 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,758 Like when you imagine if you hadn't been born and 478 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,075 someone else had met Frank. 479 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:45,796 Nigel and Delia hadn't been born either. 480 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,874 l'm sorry. l'm sorry. 481 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,196 Oh, God. l'm sorry. 482 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:58,712 They've adjusted my Seroxin. lt makes you ever so constipated too. 483 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,559 PEOPLE CHATTER 484 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,875 (Carol) lf my finger slips, you've had it. 485 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,557 Come on, you lot. We need all hands on deck. 486 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,079 (Veronica) Keep him still, Mum. 487 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,191 What's wrong? 488 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,639 He dared me. 489 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,990 We're lucky the house didn't go up, rubbish he eats. 490 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,237 Lighting farts. Got too close to the lighter. 491 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,157 Don't be such a bloody baby! 492 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,758 lt's only Vaseline. 493 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:34,789 Where's Lip? 494 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,638 Anyone got munchies? 495 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,194 Good night, was it? 496 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,356 You knew lan was working. 497 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:47,879 Carol said she'd look in. 498 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,629 She did come really quickly when we shouted. 499 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,079 What's up with him? 500 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,509 Come on, sweetheart. lt's past your bedtime. 501 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,394 DOOR SLAMS 502 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,395 Where the fuck's Sheila? 503 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,069 You're not at Sheila's, Dad. 504 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,031 Dad, bathroom! 505 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,798 Don't fucking touch me. 506 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,271 Eccles. 507 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,356 You told him, didn't you? 508 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,550 You in on it and all? 509 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,237 Whatever. 510 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,273 Yeah, whatever. You're all the fucking same like your fucking mother. 511 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,278 - Don't touch... - Aagh! 512 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,754 Piss yourself then! 513 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,472 Fucking piss yourself! 514 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,397 What's he done? 515 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,796 Get him out of here, or l swear l'll fucking kill him! Wanker! 516 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,713 Bastard. 517 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,557 (Fiona) Did he piss himself? 518 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,912 (Lip) No. Got him to the bog in time. 519 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,112 Frank Gallagher's proudest achievement - he got to the bog in time. 520 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,878 Puked on the carpet though. 521 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:12,073 You really don't want lan to find him, do you? Gary what's-his-face. 522 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:16,079 Up to him. Just don't see the point. 523 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,116 Bit jealous. 524 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,628 Little bastard gets a shot at a real dad, 525 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,468 instead of some incontinent fucking sperm donor. 526 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:35,278 Thing about Dad, you're fine as long as you remember to expect fuck all. 527 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:40,633 Only useful thing he's ever said to me, not at me, my whole fucking life, 528 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,478 when l was little, 529 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,715 l was making breakfast. 530 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,912 Dad chucked his slice of toast into the bin, ''Fucking useless that.'' 531 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,793 Then he showed me, 532 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:57,675 ''Always spread the marge into the corners, right up to the crust. 533 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:02,032 ''Do the corners and you don't have to worry about the middle.'' 534 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,833 lt's true, as it happens. 535 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,359 Useless fucker. 536 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,990 Right. Social services are due at 1 1 . 537 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,918 Sheila's coming round at half ten. Start with the bedrooms, Carl. 538 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,349 Debbie, bathroom. 539 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,960 Carol, you still OK looking after Liam, yeah? 540 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,879 - What do you want me for, Fiona? - Oh, yeah. Marty. 541 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,797 Give me hand with a bit of lifting. 542 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,509 Cockhead. 543 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:43,875 Marty, slow down. 544 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,071 Where's Sheila? 545 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,593 Hiya. 546 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,551 You brought the twins. 547 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,353 l've been dying to air these outfits. 548 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,879 Sorry l'm late. 549 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,515 Only l thought it'd help to look a bit more like you-know-who. 550 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,028 lt's a bit difficult with my wardrobe so l had to borrow from 551 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,878 across the road, but she's on the game, so she's difficult 552 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,433 to wake before dinner time. 553 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,916 ls it too late to do something about the curtains? 554 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,393 Hiya. 555 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,079 She thinks you're planning a break-in. 556 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,198 What are you doing here? 557 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,992 Moral support, whatever that means. 558 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,793 Debbie passed on the details. 559 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,637 Are you going in? 560 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,353 Might not even be there. 561 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,197 Probably get his wife. 562 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,392 l didn't think about his wife. What if she's got kids? 563 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,635 l might have half-brothers or sisters. 564 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:21,795 Find out. 565 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,831 Go on. 566 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,394 Fuck it, if you're not gonna... 567 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:27,111 Lip. 568 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,275 PlANO MUSlC PLAYS 569 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,276 Sorry, lads. We've got tea towels coming out of our ears. 570 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:47,799 No. 571 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,919 l'm... 572 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,351 Mrs Gallagher? 573 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,070 Monica Gallagher? 574 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,758 l'm Maureen Hale from social services. 575 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,030 That's right. Come in. 576 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,355 Thank you. 577 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,673 Katrina. 578 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,913 We've got your form, Mrs Gallagher, thanks for that. 579 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,589 Liam's doing well, in your opinion? 580 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,519 Oh, yes, he is. lsn't he, Fiona? 581 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:37,788 No problems at all. 582 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:42,755 There we are, take the pot to the kettle, never the kettle to the pot. 583 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,870 Oh! No teaspoons. 584 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,996 On my first visit, l saw some bruising 585 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,678 where Liam had been hit by one of his brothers. 586 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,917 Can you tell us how this happened, Mrs Gallagher? 587 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,351 lt was Lip that moved. 588 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,039 As l said to your colleague, it was an accident. 589 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,672 Kettle. Kettle. Teaspoons. Teaspoons. > 590 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,996 Hey, love. 591 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,315 Would you get me a teaspoon, please? 592 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,513 Shall we have a look around? 593 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,632 l think we've seen everything we need, Mrs Gallagher. 594 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,875 Thanks for that. 595 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,674 You're a very lucky boy, Liam, having such a nice room. 596 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,438 l've got a few questions about the living arrangements. 597 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,711 There seems to be confusion about who lives where. 598 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:57,390 lt's easy. l live next door with my tenants, Carol and Marty. 599 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,590 And everyone else lives here. 600 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,119 (Sheila) The more the merrier. 601 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,469 l take my hat off to you, Monica. 602 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,318 These two looking bonny on it. 603 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,112 Do you get your formula at the clinic? 604 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,559 Every week. 605 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,195 When l checked our records, the twins are at a different address. 606 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,037 22 Eldon Way. 607 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,469 And according to the clinic, they live there with their mother, 608 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,354 Sheila Jackson. The twins are yours? 609 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,958 Of course they are. 610 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,275 So you must be Sheila Jackson? 611 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,836 No, no. l'm Monica. Monica Gallagher. 612 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,589 Monica Gallagher's living in Moston with another woman and she abandoned 613 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,677 her kids four years ago. lsn't that right? 614 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,154 She's no better than she should be. 615 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,316 l mean, l'm not. 616 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,749 l'm only human. 617 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,758 She's Sheila Jackson living at Eldon Way. 618 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,756 The twins are hers by Frank Gallagher who died 619 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,030 just before they were born. lt's all on the computer. 620 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:55,949 Dad's dead, mum's gone, these kids are home alone. 621 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,036 l've applied for an emergency care order for Liam. 622 00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,479 You fucking cow! 623 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,830 Home alone? Who's home alone? 624 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,868 Frank Gallagher. 625 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,036 What can l do for you, ladies? 626 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,675 Am l tit-of-the-year or what? 627 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,597 l knew it were too good to be true. 628 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,358 You've still got one more left. 629 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,398 The Cedars. 630 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,113 Sounds even cushier. 631 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,798 Did you see his music? 632 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:31,116 Wall-to-wall fucking jazz. 633 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,515 You're well out of it! 634 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:49,030 Christ. Dad finds out about this, he'll wanna fuck him himself. 635 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,559 Him? 636 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,870 lf he owes you money, get to the back of the queue. 637 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,195 Oi, Gary. More people after you. > 638 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,600 lan. 639 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:19,709 Daddy! 640 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:22,834 Fuck off. 641 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,030 Daddy! 642 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,475 Fuck off, mate! 643 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,269 What? What? 644 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,199 Who are you? 645 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,436 Difference between Gary and Frank - zilch! 646 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,230 Human error, see. 647 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,909 Ghost in the machine. 648 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,598 Literally. 649 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,712 Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. 650 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,391 Computers, you see, Maureen. Only as good as the person putting stuff in. 651 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,876 Garbage in, garbage out. 652 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:09,436 Data in a computer literally means what's put in it. 653 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,598 Data, right? Not information. 654 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,871 So you're not living at Eldon Way? 655 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,989 Not to my knowledge, love. 656 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,792 And she's Mrs Gallagher, is she? 657 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:33,718 l am proud to say, yeah. last time l looked, anyway. 658 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,876 l really think that's everything... 659 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,753 lf you're happy with the explanation of why Liam's so accident-prone. 660 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,279 Oh, look at him. 661 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:44,393 Liam, come here, son. 662 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,318 Look at that. He's got more injuries than Michael Owen. 663 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,078 He broke his wrist last year. 664 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,270 He fell off his scooter, yeah. 665 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,278 (Maureen) What are you getting at, Katrina? 666 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,596 lt's obvious. She's his care giver and she's not up to it. 667 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,110 Hang on, what are you saying, love? 668 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,469 She looks after him, doesn't she? 669 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,988 Too fucking right she does. 670 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,713 And makes a cracking job of it. 671 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,830 Her mum fucked off. 672 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,075 That's a crime, is it? 673 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,999 Trying to give your brothers and sisters the right start in life. 674 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,632 Paperwork, is that what you want? 675 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,477 Cos, it's all here, 676 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,239 in black-and-white. All his jabs, right up to date. 677 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,635 Hospital appointments for his...whatsit. 678 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,272 Fitting. 679 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:31,673 All kept. Physio for his leg. 680 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:33,278 Wrist. 681 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,753 All kept. She misses work for him. 682 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,472 Never complains. 683 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,229 You talk to his nursery. A few problems, but he's three... 684 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,679 Four. 685 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,278 (Frank) ..years old. 686 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,958 Bright as a button. 687 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,514 He's got friends, hasn't he? 688 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,835 His teachers will tell you. 689 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,314 And l'll tell you what. 690 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,828 You can't write it down in a book 691 00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,079 or sign a form for it or get a fucking voucher. 692 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,476 But, he's loved. 693 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,389 Loved. 694 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,830 By that lass over there. 695 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:20,759 So put that in Tony Blair's pipe and fucking smoke it. l mean, fuck off. 696 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,268 lf that's a kiddie that being abused, l'm Miriam Stoppard. 697 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,790 There's no question of abuse, Mr Gallagher. 698 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,319 l can see Liam's been well looked after. 699 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:32,478 He's just admitted he lives with her and she's in charge. 700 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,238 And l don't see a problem. 701 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:39,354 l'll tell you the problem. l shagged her boyfriend. 702 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,029 You shagged him? l thought you fucking snogged him. 703 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,310 lt was a mistake. 704 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,157 Oh, yeah? A mistake. 705 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,749 You just think, ''Here's the man Katrina's gonna marry. 706 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,951 ''l know, why don't l wreck her fucking life?'' 707 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,833 She made my life a misery at school. 708 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,713 We were 1 4. Everyone's life was a misery. 709 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,910 You pissed on my PE kit! 710 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,551 Sorry for the inconvenience, Mr and Mrs Gallagher. Personnel. 711 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,158 The odd one slips through the net. 712 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,952 Human error again, Maureen. 713 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:20,391 Hey, remember. Data, not information. 714 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:21,839 (Sheila) Bye. 715 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:22,869 Bye. 716 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:34,279 Wedding's still on, you know! 23rd August, so l don't wanna see or hear... 717 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,828 Did you really piss on her PE kit? 718 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,678 No, that was Alison Grant. 719 00:39:44,720 --> 00:39:46,312 l just held the bag open. 720 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,390 (Sheila) And she said... And she said... 721 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,274 She said... Sorry. She said, 722 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:58,313 ''l'm sorry for the inconvenience, Mr and Mrs Gallagher.'' 723 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,874 Didn't she, Frank? 724 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,070 Too fucking right she did. 725 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,795 You played a fucking blinder, Frank. 726 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,832 lt's natural, isn't it? A father's instinct 727 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,190 to defend his offspring. Like lions. Come here. 728 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,391 Actually, male lions kill theirs. 729 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,670 l've seen it in a documentary. 730 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,438 New fucking man, me, Debbie. 731 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,792 Frank, l'm proud to call her Mrs Gallagher. 732 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,594 He came straight out with it. He did. 733 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,631 Do you like the sound of the that, Sheil? 734 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,717 Hey, hey. Stop fucking stirring it. 735 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,638 KNOCK ON DOOR 736 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:42,316 Sperm and egg, split second, accident of nature. 737 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,558 The nurture, that's being a fucking parent. 738 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:47,999 Forget about it, will you? 739 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,553 You've got to tell her. 740 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,431 Tell Katrina we didn't shag. 741 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,708 She already knows we did. 742 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:53,192 But we didn't. 743 00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:57,028 Joey... Didn't we? 744 00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,072 You were totally out of it, weren't you? lt wouldn't have been... 745 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,075 So we didn't? 746 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,439 No. 747 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,710 Fiona! 748 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,479 You will tell her, won't you? 749 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,751 My dad's got £80 deposit down on a Gandalf costume. 750 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,392 FRANK SNORES l was lost 751 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,590 Oh, yeah 752 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,353 Oh, yeah... 753 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,356 Lads, you're gonna have to give your dad a hand. 754 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,914 He's worn out. 755 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,916 Oh! 756 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,712 Come on. 757 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,756 lan! 758 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,791 Come on, l can't shift him on my own. 759 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,592 He's not my dad, is he? 760 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,669 Stop fucking around, will you? You can't just fucking resign. 761 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,199 Come on. 762 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:01,672 (Fiona) Problem? 763 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,591 No. 764 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,359 Just taking Dad back to Sheila's. 765 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,839 (lan) 'Fiona reckoned it was a first. 766 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,111 'Dad and Sheila actually helping us out for once instead of landing us 767 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,151 'in the shit. 768 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,954 'Not that she'd have wanted them round at ours all the time. 769 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,638 'None of us would. 770 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,195 'You just get used to things the way they are. 771 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:37,995 'And at the end of the day, it's better the devil you know. 772 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,634 'Early Kylie? Totally true.' 773 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,313 l'm carrying his baby. 774 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,475 Fiona! 775 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,551 (Man) Had an accident? 776 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,113 Boo! 777 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,594 Oh, Jesus! Where's my tooth? 778 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,428 Remember, Frank, no-win, no-fee, and we will win. 779 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:02,270 lf you wanna keep it, you don't have to bring it up alone. City! 780 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:02,957 Oi! > 781 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,517 You bastard! 782 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,916 Shops had to close down because of him and you don't give a fuck. 783 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,076 l've booked the abortion. 784 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,395 Blood. l've been shot! 785 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,318 My God, Frank. What have you done? 786 00:43:18,368 --> 00:43:22,918 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0